Off Balance
How can we find “balance” when we don’t control the scale?
For years, I have been bombarded by content providing tips on ways to find a healthier work/life balance. As a working mom, this content has always seemed relevant to one of my greatest struggles; yet, at the same time, it seemed distant and impossible to achieve given my actual circumstance. There was a massive gap between the tips and valid suggestions and what I had the power to actually do.
I believe this is because everyone is pumping content that is focused on the individual’s actions when we are not focusing on arguably the most important half of the equation - corporate culture.
It is nearly impossible to measure the subjectiveness of work/life balance because it is different for every individual. What would equate to a great balance for a single person living in New York City very likely looks nothing like balance for a wife and mother of two or more young children with a long commute to the city. I would also argue that the definition of work/life balance evolves for each individual as their life evolves. Personally, my time was much more suited for working all of the time when I was in my 20’s and early 30’s living in Manhattan with a husband who was also of the same drive and mindset. By the time I was a mother of two living outside Manhattan, the demands on my time needed to shift in a big way. I want to be clear that I am not suggesting that I loved my work any less after children. I needed to find some sort of harmony between the time I spent focused and available for work and the time I focused on my family and amazing little munchkins who managed to dominate a lot of heart space.
I strongly disagree with people who simplify this discussion into a choice between two categories to be a working mom/dad or a stay-at-home mom/dad. Nothing in life is that simple, and this is a topic that effects massive quantities of working parents, so I would rather discuss the reality and seek truth than act as though most families have the luxury of having one parent not working. Today’s world is one in which most households need two incomes. Here are some interesting facts about the shift in the workforce in the last few decades (source):
Over 40% of moms are now the sole or primary source of income in the household. Women are now the primary or co-money maker in nearly two thirds of American families and working married women bring home 44% of their family’s income.
Over the last 25 years, the number of households that include a stay-at-home dad plus a working mom have doubled.
Today, 47% of the workforce is comprised of women. Compare that to 38% in 1970.
Women make up almost 50% of students in MD, JD and MBA programs. Women also earn 59% of all higher education degrees.
Thanks to the growth in the women’s labor force, the median family income is $13,000 more than it was in 1970.
Men and women looking for new jobs are increasingly choosing career paths or specific employers who offer more flexibility when it comes to taking time off for their children and/or family.
Today’s economy would be $2 TRILLION smaller without the strides women have made since 1970.
In an effort to work through the complexity of the discussion, I think we can build on some facts that are indisputable. I believe it is reasonable to shift from work/life balance and consider the reasons for burnout for all people. Both the single person and the parent are at risk of burnout if whatever balance looks like to them is off. There are plenty of resources about burnout, which is clearly a result of what one would call being “off-balance.” If we take a look at burnout to see what perpetuates it, we can get closer to the source of the issues that run people into the ground.
The following is a list of the five top reasons for burnout: (source)
Unfair treatment at work
Unmanageable workload
Lack of role clarity
Lack of communication and support from their manager
Unreasonable time pressure
This clearly demonstrates that burnout does not lie solely with the individual. It is often a result of corporate culture, and one that can be averted by leadership much further upstream.
So, why do we continue to focus on offering half-baked solutions for people to manage their own “balance” when they’re burning out due to the corporate culture in which they spend most of their living hours? Shouldn’t we switch our attention to the cultures that perpetuate unhealthy lifestyles, demands on people’s time both in and out of the office, unrealistic expectations and cycles of bad leadership and management?
The answer is, yes. This is the portion of the equation that needs to change in order to help people find a way to work and live. This is no longer a dated discussion about how to work with millennials or manage working moms and dads. Those topics were at least half wrong to begin with, and they only created a negative narrative that encouraged a lot of inequality and even worse management mentalities.
The truth is, better workplace conditions are beneficial to employees, employers and the economy. Studies show that increasing paid leave and flexibility comes with a whole slew of benefits: productivity increases, employee attendance improves, and further it attracts higher quality talent. Creating a holistic corporate wellbeing strategy and plan is essential as businesses navigate the future. These strategies and plans must focus on the whole being of business shareholders - employees, customers and communities.
I look forward to diving into solutions for both people and businesses, which will lead to economic and quality of life benefits for all. By keeping a focus on the holistic equation, we can initiate real shifts in work/life balance.